Hello I am Xinya

Chwee Kin Keong and Others v Digilandmall.com Pte Ltd

2012-01-27T16:31:00.002+08:00

[2004] 2 SLR 594; [2004] SGHC 71 judgement of V K Rajah JC

http://www.singaporelaw.sg/rss/judg/30117.html

As i was reading this case, a string of profanities ran thru my head. like seriously? i dont even think the plaintiff sitting there at the point of time understand what the lawyers were saying and how they were represented. wth???

and why the hell u know a printer selling for more than $3000 would cost $66? obviously there were some mistakes right? siao one. still wanna sue. now u giving me headache.

peskyMONSTER.

2012-01-27T14:54:00.001+08:00

2012 resolutions

2012-01-03T18:07:00.001+08:00

** no such nonsense as slimming down and doing workout. Hahahaha.

1) make time for studies during weekday - non school day, twice a week.
2) make one weekend a study day for exams period.
3) learn to say no if asked to do things by other departments.
4) do not get traumatized by missy poo..
5) pass 3 modules by 2012
6) make time for myself to watch tv. (okays it's a bit impossible but try)
7) learn to manage my stress well and not take it out on bf. (I predict that this will happen.. )
8) sleep at least 6 hours per day on average.
9) do not daydream in classes.
10) fulfill all of the above.

Goodbye.

4 more days to 2012

2011-12-27T20:08:00.002+08:00

hi all, there is actually less than four more days. erm.. about 3 days and 3hrs? i must say i dreaddddddd 2012. as much as i dread 2011. nth excites me.

friday gonna be my last day at mustad (IMM) life there is actually shiok. 9-5pm. nth complicated. easy come easy go. i thought i could hv at least a month rest before i start my new job. because browsing the available jobs. i knew it would be difficult. but but but... lucky me lucky me.

wait for my 3 mths probation to be over before i announce my bangala work okays. pay is not very good la. about 20% higher. im actually doing the same shit. accounts side. on a happier note, i'm reporting straight to my finance mngr. tt gives u a slight clue of where i am.

starting work on 3rd jan 2012 concurrently with my studies. life is gonna be pretty busy.
dont expect too much from me my friends.
i dont born with a silver spoon. neither do i hv very rich parents. but then i very proud of myself. because i'm bloody hell using my own money. :):):)

i dont feel happy i dont feel excited and i dont feel sad. its pretty confusing...

im gg down tmr to sign my offer letter. so... yeap.

on the other hand, as bf & i planned to cook tmr for lunch then to movie then to my hse for dinner. the whole plan was twisted again. whats new right?? i just really hate this. alot... it too much of annoying in this. i dont like plans to change.

goodbye for now.

depressed_girl_90

2011-12-19T20:43:00.004+08:00

helloooooo!! december is gonna end as soon as i finished typing this post. life is.... so unbelievable. worked for close to a year. man, i feel old. studying seems so far... being a student seems even further. i can no longer enjoy students' discount. hahahaa.. life's tough like that.
im not back on track. i still lost as one year ago.. tell me what to do man.

Life like this.

2011-12-05T22:10:00.001+08:00

Feeling damn sick tday but still it's manageable kind of sickness. You understand? Because I'm one who doesn't likes to take mc unless I'm bed ridden. I've no idea why. I hate doctors I hate medicine. No, I can swallow medicine perfectly without water. Trained since young. I just dislike eating it k. Furthermore, I'm allergy to Panadol, acmocillin, and other kinds of fever medicine. That give the doctors a hard time. So i really just dislike it. I'm so dead. My sore throat is killing me. But I'm not feverish. Weird thing. And that always happens. Doc questioned me too. Once, he made take temperature thrice. Hahaha. You kidding me right? Blogging seem so easy now. I'm back! :):):)

2:0

2011-12-04T22:24:00.001+08:00

Hahaha. Yea I'm childish! ✌

Untitled.

2011-12-03T03:17:00.001+08:00

Because I know I need to pen down smth almost immediately. This feeling in me. Strange thing is, my mind is in a blank. I dont know where to start from.

I don't know what I'm feeling. It's like... Idk. It's hard to describe. Idk why I'm like this. I guess I'm just trying to feel better.

What do I gain from criticizing others love story? On what ground am I interfering with their life? Or maybe the past. Everybody hv their own past. Is it wrong to do this? Shld I do this? As much as I really want to. I can't help but to question my actions.

Maybe I really did this to comfort myself. To prove I am better. Who am I to judge other ppl's love? Just why shld I do it? Yes, everybody hv their ways of expressing themselves. Why shld I judge.

I'm at a point that I really hate the way I do things. The way I communicate. The way I see ppl. Ppl compare due to inferiority. Yes. I do that. Very often. In fact. Too much that this becomes a threat to me.

If I were to continue, I know for sure that I'm gonna just stay stagnant.

when you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

2011-12-02T16:21:00.002+08:00

i guess in most cases now, this quote doesnt work anymore. because even with plans, ppl does not adhere to it. they will not follow the plan. even whn plans are being made, plans may still fail. yes i know, the moral is, if u dont plan, its a 100% fail kind of thing. well, in the real world, there is no absolute thing.

i am so sick and tired of all these outings, plans and whats not. i took time and effort, and ppl just doesnt appreciate. i dont see the point. i really dont. as much as i understand they are really nice ppl, and yes, things do crop out, there is really a time whn there are last minute events. there are many many reasons. i know i know. i really do. but why cant everybody just block out tt one particular day or timing for smth tt HAS BEEN PLANNED AND AGREED ON? (i have to use caps to emphasize the importance, im sorry)

indeed we are all crippled by technology. the inability to keep to timings. the inability to stick to plans. i am too, crippled by technology. for the inability to speak. for i rely on this media to voice out my feelings. yes, we are all victims of tehnology. its a double edged sword. we too, are the culprits of it. no doubt i cant de-credit the benefits of technology, i really hate how this whole stupid "i cant make it" "i'll be late" "i didnt receive" kinda of thing. its so redundant whn all these are being said.

and as i am so annoyed my beloved bf hv to do this.this was what happened that really makes me boil.

On 29th Oct, we all decided to hv this bloody outing on 17th Dec. all agreed. as the date draws nearer, to accomodate, dates were being changed and changed and changed. but we finally sat down to 17th dec which everyone agreed to.

so whn all these were confirmed.
friend no.1: "i cant make it because i hv a bday party to attend."
it was ok because its only 1 down.
friend no.2: "i cant make it because this event tt i was suppose to go on the 18th shifted to 17th, it has been paid"
(this time round, this is the friend that host the area for us.
friend no.3: "sorry i cant make it"
no reasons.

and i was tryin to remain my calm. maintainnnnn..
my bf did this.
i hv been askn him if he is coming to eat but i KNEW he would bloody hell forever come to my hse first. he said no. i ask again tday and he said no. its ok. fine, because he say he was gg home straight.

so just now, he said he was coming, so i asked if he was eating. he replied irrelevant stuffs. so i ASKED again. and he replied irrelevant stuffs again.
then i replied. "can u bloody hell tell me if u are eating at my place"

time like this. i really doubt my ability to communicate.
because if all these things were to happen. Is it my inability to communicate so that this party understand what i am saying? if not, why cant they give me the ans that i want?

Yes, talkn abt suicidal dreams.

2011-11-30T23:13:00.001+08:00

One day I will kill myself. I will you give all my money. Yes it's not much. But I have insurance. Then u all can rent my room and earn money. In addition, you all don't hv to feed me anymore, can buy less food. You all can sell my hello kitty and earn money. Give away my clothes for charity. No doubt funeral gonna spend abit. But it's a long term investment isn't it??

I don't understand. Why is he the only one that feel stress? Why is he the only one that needs help? Who isn't struggling? Who isn't hving a hard time?

Mayb I don't hv a say because I deserve it for hving a lousy result. Oh so you mean he did better? Don't fake by saying there is no comparison. This is the scariest because they happens in such a way that it becomes a norm . You know, it's like this comparing thing becomes an innate in them. It will be ridiculous to even bring up to say that they are wrong.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not unhappy. I'm nt saying they are nt good to me. I'm just being ridiculous and unreasonable. (haha!) for there are more unfortunate ppl. Ppl whom are far more worst than me. For once, can we don't compare to them. Just ourselves. In the house. Between us?

Life is sure unfair. I couldn't ask for more. I alr hv the best in life. More than many others...

I'm just whining.

Am I being irrational.

2011-11-30T19:50:00.002+08:00

No, I've thought about all the possibilities with the limited resources that I have. And that is - money.

Considering the path I wanted was only accounts and no other. In whatever path. Whatever degree. Modules overlap. Yes i am taking the tough route again.

I chose pure sciences whn I was in sec sch. I didn't do well. I was told not to.. Then I chose A levels and got myself into MI. I did badly. I was told not to. Now, I sign up classes with my hard earned money. I was not to. Mayb I was just trying to prove otherwise. Just maybe..

But no, I wasn't being irrational. It wasn't for pride and glory. It was just what I wanted. True enough, I failed in those attempts. Nobody succeed at their first attempt. Not even steve job. not even thomas edison. There is no easy way out. There isnt..

Each and every path have their difficulties. Don't judge. Don't comment. Respect.

I can't imagine the days whn I will hv lessons until 1015pm and travel back home which take abt an hour and I will only sleep at 12am earliest. I can't imagine how I will have to juggle between work, sch, boyf, family and friends. I don't hv the power to control all these anymore. I believe we all have a choice. We have to choose.

Then, I hope I'll have the ability to make the right choices and god will grant me the wisdom and power to do so.

How about some encouragement??

Future.

2011-11-29T22:59:00.002+08:00

Tossing and turning. I just can't get to sleep. D is out on a field camp. I'm not trying to be emotionally handicap whn D isn't here but 2011 is ending. I can't help but to feel worried for myself.

I have been working. Close to a year. I can't say I haven't accomplished anything. I have, but is this even sufficient? I'm here standing still while everybody is moving on with their lives. I'm neither here nor there. I dont hv any reason to judge ppl pursuing their degree eve if they hv failed their a levels. I don't hv any reason to judge them even though if they are using their parents money or even if they screw their course. I don't hv any reason because I'm here doing nothing.

My future is bleak. And I hv nth to say. 2012 is coming. And I don't know what I hv for myself. It's pathetic that I'm in this state for I once have so many aspirations. So many dreams. Yet, they remain as what they are. Yes, that's what I'm good at.

Feeling like crap. I hv to settle this before 2012.

I have the best bf ever...

2011-11-21T08:25:00.001+08:00

I just knew it. Heeeeheeee <3

You guys were right.

2011-11-09T17:13:00.001+08:00

My secret slimming plan totally fail. I'm lazier than ever. I'm not loving my cellulite. I'm not discriminating my fat thighs anymore. I'm such a bitch. Oh well...

be my MR.HAPPY.

2011-10-28T15:21:00.005+08:00

never forget to learn to appreciated for all that you have and nv ask for what you nv had. such simple things yet we cannot do. our ever growing wants made us so greedy that we forget to appreciate what is already there.

ppl do foolish things whn they're in love. i would say there isnt any right or wrong. we love with our eyes closed. love is blind. whn we love we choose to only see the things we like, we grow to accept the ugly. not because we want to or we like it but it became a part of us anyway. we lie and we cheated all in the name of love. we kissed and we hugged in the name of love as well. why do we human choose to only see the worst whn things turn ugly and forget abt the sweet? how could we de-credit someone who was once so dear to us because of one unforgivable mistake.

who is right and who is wrong? whose broke whose heart. who betrayed who? does it matter? because ultimately the 2 whom are in love are hurt. then again how can we forgive such acts so easily and let it get away? life is contradicting. humans are contradicting. love is contradicting. we love and hate at the same time. but which is more? is hate the result of love? is this all we ever wanted?

when are we gonna stop comparing? we choose to see the ugly of our own and the sweet of others. we, MADE the choice. if only we learnt to appreciate and stop comparing, wouldnt it be better?

if you loved the person enough, you will grow to accept his/her past and mistakes. you will love him/her over again for what he/she is. and only for that 1 reason.

love is blind.
you made your choice.

the man.

2011-10-19T16:48:00.002+08:00

on friday, i received news that my granfather passed away. (father's side) it was kinda shocking or rather i was in disbelief. my brother and i were even discussing about it. we doubt about the death of our grandfather.

we when to visit him about 2 weeks ago, no doubt he was skinny, his words were filled with power and he spoke with gusto. we cant help but to mimic him secretly. we felt that this man lying there could leave for another good 5yrs or so. we nv expected that this day would come so far.

the man pleaded everybody to visit him whn he was ill but to no avail. everybody gave the excuse of busy with work. he could even rmb long lost relatives no and called them individually to visit them.

and on this day, all came, was that the reason he left? so that we could all gather tgt and mourne for his death. to rmb this date. to feel guilty for ourself.for not listening to him.

i wasnt very close to him because he stays in malaysia. he was one man i could nv understand. well i dont hv a chance to alr. i dont exactly hv flashbacks of him. thats kinda sad to say. we werent close. not at all. he was closer to my brother. or i shld say my brother is close to everybody.

and as i was doubting abt his death, we made our way to renggam, JB. As we were reaching, the tentage were setting up, he was lying there in the living room unmovable, changed up. i was afraid at first, and as i stepped in and took a closer look. the man lying there, my grandpa, how could not spend any time with him throughout the 21yrs of my life?

My friend. Heh heh.

2011-10-11T22:34:00.001+08:00

That's just why I love my life with these people.

learn to be appreciative.

2011-10-06T16:56:00.002+08:00

i was complaining to my neighbours abt danny boy one day. and then hy said: "learn to be appreciative of him, rmb the day whn you were drunk and he came to look for you? not many can accept this and do this. what i saw is that he wasnt angry with you for getting drunk, but he was worried. so learn to be appreciative, stop whyning."

i vomitted only ah pong leader knows how many times.
hahaha... :):):)

2011-10-05T18:44:00.006+08:00

i could sense his frustrations - the first time he gt so angry he raised his voice at me..

growing up.

2011-10-03T12:35:00.003+08:00

yea i was posting abt smth earlier on and i thought it wasnt very nice to publish because it will just show how disgusting i am.

anyway, its gonna be the end of 2011. i cant stop but keep thinkin abt it. i am just freaking lost. idk what i shld do. hi im 21 not 16, not 18. its not one of those days. but its one of those period.

everybody have their ups and down in life. i guess this is my down? nth is gg my way. or i shld say, i havent tried enough.

what sort of mentality should a 21 yr old young adult hv?

we hv kids still playing, we hv kids still studying, we hv kids living off their parents, we hv kids earning millions of dollar, we hv all sorts of ppl. so what exactly shld we be?

im so tired.

the overseas meeting.

2011-09-28T10:00:00.005+08:00

so i met him ytd. it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be. it was good. (bad news. hahaha) no. but the meeting brings me back to track. it triggers the inner me of what i want to be. i should say i'm rather lazy this year and i stop moving eversince A levels. im still living in self denial of my not-so-good-just-pass-only results. i forgot about dreams, i forgot abt target. i forgot about life. i'm in my own world with my jungle boy. i forgot there is so much more other than a levels. other than local uni.

no, we didnt talk about this topic. but he is someone i always look upon because he nv stop chasing what he wants. he nv stop, moving. he is forever sure and steadfast. (we dont talk about those blue days. but the overall) he makes me think about my life again. am i just gonna be like that. am i just gonna missed out on my life and many other beautiful things.

i nv stopped dreaming. but i nv once tried, as usual, im forever afraid of failure because i failed far too many times. i closed doors. i kick away opportunities. i stop moving. you know "if you never try you will nv know" i no longer live with this because "i know i cant make it anymore". i have been limiting myself to the so "many" choices in the world only god knows why i'm doing this.

so, hi 2012. i hope its gonna be a fruitful one. gonna pen down some stuffs.

back to the mini overseas meeting locally. there wasnt any awkwardness. (except for those really minor ones for a split second. plus i was actually kinda tired so i wouldnt really notice) thank god for this. you know i fear this kinda scenario and especially if we are not talking at all. good things happen, we have much more than i expected to talk abt. he wasnt the man with few words. he was as usual, the man i used to know. crappy and at the same time mature. we talked abt past present future. not deeply but briefly. he mocked at me. as usual. those were the times. whn i was only 14, and he was only 16. amazingly i thought he couldnt remember the details during this period because frankly speaking, we didnt hv a really good time during the course of being tgt. we were young and aggressive. its like the growing up period. both of us nv gave way. haha, but k la, he rmb. was cheating him to doing the aaron kwok's mimic. but failed la. he didnt want to do it because he nv do it for a long time alr. HAHA.

it was good and i was happy because we didnt end up as strangers. he is definitely one i will wish to keep in my list of contacts because there is so much to learn from, to know about from this person.

on our way back, he drove his mercedez SLK. (2seater) - idk abt cars, i asked the proud man for the model.. it wasnt surprising. tt just looks like him. and then i thought again. i wanted to get a car, 2 seater. i nv once stopped researching about my mini cooper during my sec sch days. but i stopped during JC. i thought i couldnt acheive that. but HI, ITS JUST A CAR. i rmb vividly abt what he said to achieve whn he was 16. and he kind of did it? 23. finished degree & NS. whats next? if you understand what i'm saying through all this. its about how he nv stopped moving forward while i stay on the same spot. ("zhai yuan di") not only i stopped moving. i turn back. #whylikethat.

i used to think only about studies & career & studies & career. (no room for bf) kinda obvious to all my friends tt have known me for quite sometime. but i changed. i fit my schedule to my bf's schedule. i stopped abt the studies and career. i just want to be with him the whole day. he is my bread and butter. love sure makes me blind. see, i forget about my targets. i kicked my cafe away. i stop looking and researching.

time for a change, bad news for jungle boy. but fear not you're included in my plan. HEEEHEEHEEE!

so for sure this is a good meeting. not only i get to catch up with this man but it kinda brings me back on track? yea.
gonna get back to work. im heavy shit workload tday.
(blogged before i forget about all this. )
:)

tumblring+kiao ka+mac+youtubing

2011-09-22T14:06:00.002+08:00

ok they all went for lunch im alone in office i on music from youtube. tumblr from iphone. blog from computer. eating mac and kiao ka-ing now.
damn shiok. i realised i havent tumblr for a loong time. i seriously have no time lor. no i dont want. i love tumblring so much k.

anyway life's been not very good. work is boring but its good to stay there accumulate my full 1 yr exp for CAT. hmmmm. oh btw they nv reply my email im so sad. k nvm. i need my CAT license la. stupid!

btw i said i will be running but haze and rain seriously deter me from running lor. then whn i finally gg to run i LAI ANG. see see see. now u all wanna say i come up with excuses. k my lai ang gonna end this week im gg running k. im so fat i cannot fit into my clothes. seriously. :(

i cant seems to wear all my high waist shorts anymore. my thigh just cannot fit inside lor. :(:(:( yea and im having mac now. cheese shaker fries. how nice right. (i hope they come back later so i can tumblr longer! heehee)

ok bye.

Wtf.

2011-09-13T19:19:00.001+08:00

Ytd haze.
Tday rain.
What now?
Cannot run.

i have decided...

2011-09-08T10:55:00.003+08:00

to save myself from growing horizontally, and to maintain the chio-ness of myself. i have to do this until Chinese New year. if not i wont be able to fit in all the nice and sexaye clothes!

every weekdays after work whereby i have no tuition. i will run from 8pm- 9pm. meaning leave home whn shows ends about 7.50pm. start running at 8pm. i will run for about 45mins. do my cool down and my 100 sit ups and 40 pushups downstairs at nearby fitness corner.
(25 sit ups - 10 push ups) 4 sets.
(ps: my bf says my muscles which were trained from vball has became 50cents jelly)

from 9pm-10pm i will do my yoga and massage my fat thighs while watching my show. if not i can sit on the massager for 30 mins and do some yoga. my body is as stiff as an 80yr old granny i need to do this.

unless i am having bad cramps, otherwise, lai ang, and feeling faint or sick is not a reason for not excercising.

then i will have a quick bath and talk to my pesky boyfriend before gg to bed at 11pm. I will have to run AT LEAST 3 times per week. My targetted weight will be 46kg. waistline should fall back to 22inches. not asking too much for my thighs and arms but they should nt be flabby.

i must be able to do a full sit&reach by then.
this plan will commene on 12th sept 2011(monday)

tried waking up at 530am for running but srsly?? this is drop dead tiring. i cant do this. oh, i must also drink a cup of greentea w/0 sugar before i go for exercise because that will slow down the absorption of sugar intake in my body.

okays. i have decided. those whom read pls dont give me comments. i will kill all of u because i know u all very irritating just wanna shoot me say i will be 60kg. i dont want to talk to all of u. and u all dont gei gei say wanna run with me i dont wanna run with u k.

okthxbye.
<3 xinya

4 more months to 2012

2011-09-07T20:55:00.002+08:00

what to say about 2011? i used to look back type all sort of nonsense, and lay down my aims for the year. but then i realised i didnt do so last year. perhaps too many things that i forgot. is that why i became so aimless? like totally. extending my contract in Mustad just means tt i've worked for the whole of 2011 aimlessly. its not a bad thing, pls dont get me wrong. i learnt alot there. its a very good place if u are new. especially to the real working society. ppl like me need to start learning from excel. ppl are good as well, everything is good. i am like getting paid to learn things. seriously cannot ask for more. nv once get scolded eversince i joined tt co for doing wrong things and making mistakes.

the only problem i have now is whether i should or should not further my studies now. its like dumping money into this pond and i have to 100% make sure it really works. there is no turning back.

4 more months to the end of 2011, and i have 4 more months to rant about 2010. HAHAHA. after which i guess i shldt say about it anymore since its gonna be tts 2 years ago alr leh!! HAHAH..
hmmmmm.. srsly i hv no idea how to blog anymore.
its like i lost the ability to write. i can no longer express myself freely.

AUGUST 2011

2011-08-01T19:24:00.002+08:00

hi august, you wasnt very good last yr. i rmb clearly. DAMN CLEARLY okays.
so please, August, HI AUGUST! HELLO!!! please be good to be this year can?
actually last august, september, october, november, december were all very mean to me.

AUGUST-NOVEMBER THE WORST OF ALL.
ok forget it. dont talk abt the pastt... HELLLLOOOOOOO!!!!

this yr, let it be good kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!

life.

2011-07-15T10:54:00.002+08:00

i dont know if i'm living in self-denial working as an accountant. srsly, i dont like this kinda mundane jobs. its way too boring, everyday u face the computer, every month you do the same old thing. the cycle continues. or mayb because i started out in a smaller company tts why i'm feeling this way. and besides, many has been asking if i'm pursuing my degree.

i have absolutely no idea. SERIOUSLY.

ACCA is a professional cert. its is not equivilant to a degree. If im getting a degree, i might choose investment&finance or so, but seriously, JUST NOT NOW. my heart is not settled on any single thing. its forever changing.

the only reason i chose ivestment & finance is just so that i can jump from accounting dept to the finance and ivestment area next time. searched fr marketing jobs, srsly, i dont fit their criteria at all, totally no background. doesnt even know what they are looking for. so u see, what to do?

so my plan now, mayb i'll continue to be my poor thing sai kung accountant go office get bully those, take my acca hopefully i finished my level 2 in 2 yrs. this is sufficient enough, then see if im gonna go to level 3 or go get some JAPALANG degree from uniSIM or RMIT. by then i'll hv money for their sch fees. seriously paying your own school fees are damn chui.

whats life after A'levels whn u dont get into a local uni, for me, definitely nt SIM, because if so, i could hv join them since O'levels. but sad to say, private degrees aint easy as well, im not sure if im able to cope with it. so lets see how things go.

prolly i'll go get myself a rich husband soon. like so soon he will tell me to stop working and stop studying. just go high tea and shopping. he give me money to go and learn baking in France or whatever. Then he give me money to open my own Cafe with all these cute lil things tt is so edible. and i'll be so happy. too bad things will nv be a bed of roses. if you nv fail, you'll nv succeed. So thanks to myself i failed the entire of my 21 years in life. I'm just gonna succeed soon. so soon.

everybody has an aim, a target, a dream. maybe not now, but in the near future, srsly i can picture myself screaming in my cafe, hving sleepless nights over its loss, finding ways to increase inflow of customer, making them stay, even thought of closing it down since i'm making a loss, and then revive it again. you know, even if its so, i will feel so contented, doing just what i really want. this is still a long way man.

lets dream for now.

totally acting like a bitch.

2011-07-11T19:42:00.002+08:00

one thing for sure. i am selfish. who likes to share. right? i didnt know why i did tt. it wasnt just impulse. i know deep down i dont want to see any of those. even a tiny winy bit. it just feels terrible. totally breaking me apart. the level of mistrust nv fails to increase. too many questions. too many things i dont understand. whats man's ego? really? can somebody just explain to me.

2011-06-24T10:52:00.001+08:00

It’s the scariest thing ever to realize how much someone means to you. When it hits you, I mean really hits you, all these thoughts and questions rush through your head at once. A sad emotion even starts to creep on you slowly inch by inch as you start to wonder. What if for some reason things don’t work out? How are you possibly going to live without them? Someone that was once a stranger now is the only person you know like the back of your hand. Someone you once had no emotions for, now has the power to break your heart. Someone you used to never hangout with, now owns most of your time. Someone that you thought you’d never love, owns your entire heart. Someone you once lived without, you now wish to hold on forever.

ages.

2011-06-06T19:55:00.002+08:00

yea, its been ages. i use the com only whn im not lazy. tts 0.001% probability per day. and tday i use the com. yea, i on it. there is actually a laptop lying on my bed. its hibernating. and i dont even on it to use. its been long long time since i blog. i dont even know the reason of blogging. srsly. for memories? to be known? to let ppl know about myself or just what?

alright. my life is ok. pretty normal. 9-5pm. work + date + go out+ meet long lost friend and chill.
sleep and eat and do nth. tts about it. mayb because im contented with my life now i doesnt blog.
i dont tumblr tt much as well. i realised i blog only whn there negative things.

so if the next time i blog i will blog abt smth happy. okbye!

2011-04-27T22:27:00.001+08:00

Whn this person was the most important person in your life. Strangers, again.

Watched and I felt so sad abt it. How many of these do we hv to go thru then? Whn the one you once thought was so special and impt, is no longer special and impt to you.

Cause I'll catch a grenade for ya? Nth of tt sort in this era.

2011-04-01T00:12:00.001+08:00

Everytime I use tumblr i feel very pathetic because I need to rely on this medium to communicate my thoughts across hoping that ppl feel the same way as I do.

My 21st.

2011-03-31T23:41:00.001+08:00

I was anticipating my love to call me and sing me a birthday song or at least send me a text msg at 12. Instead I gt tons of other ppl doing this.

Then I thought maybe he would call and say sorry with a birthday song, but nope.

Then finally at night I get my birthday song, it doesn't sound very sincere, as far as I thought so. Yes I am mad at the slightest thing. Becuz I see why everybody can do it except him. I didn't even want to talk to him. So I hung up.

And I was waiting for mayb a long msg telling me how sorry he is or whatever. And there wasnt anything. I guess all tt only happens in my dreams.

Maybe I'm asking for too much. Seriously, am I??

Ps: there are still happy things. But this is too major to turn my 21st frm down to upside down. Happy things next post perhaps! Goodbye teenage girl.

2011-03-28T16:36:00.002+08:00

You both enjoy and need to be active and on the go, and are more interested in the present than in the past. Once something has outlived its usefulness, you are both ready to part with it and you go on to something new. You both have a low tolerance for boredom! You also share a weakness in common: the inability to stick with things (projects and relationships) when they become dull or problematic. Neither of you wants a very clingy, dependent type of partner, and with one another you have a certain amount of independence that you both enjoy.Sometimes GEMINI wants to discuss an idea, while ARIES becomes impatient with the conversation, feeling that they are beating around the bush, and not really getting to the heart of the matter. ARIES becomes abrupt, impatient, and tactless at such times. GEMINI must realize that ARIES simply does not have a taste for conversation at such times, and must not rely too much on ARIES for daily conversation. Handled positively, GEMINI can provide lots of different perspectives on ARIES's impulsive ideas. HAHAHAHA! those in red are god damn true TTM which i complained abt everyday and i just 'fu yan' him which he knows but he obviously dont give a damn too and will just continue yanking away! lols. PESKY! Aries and Gemini compatibility Vibrant and lively, Aries and Gemini make a spontaneous relationship that is exciting and enjoyable. Both love new things and exploration of new avenues from time to time. Most of the times Aries Gemini union is perfect for both and results in fun and frolic without any kind of boredom at any point of time. An interesting feature in the relationship is how they adjust to each other’s attitude. Aries would let Gemini become free spirit all along an in turn have his or her individuality respected since the counterpart will not insist much on utilizing the free spirit. Great in relationship the two offer sufficient space for each other as and when required. Yet the relationship may not be free from all blemishes. At times the sarcastic attitude of Gemini could result in irritation for Aries resulting in venting out anger and discontentment. Good news for both is that the situation will last only for a short duration and things go back to normalcy pretty soon with both calming down. Best part of it is that people belonging to these two zodiac signs know exactly how to live life and get the most out of it. While the two would find from the onset of the relationship each other attractive, Aries can find the ever changing moods of Gemini very challenging. However, it also helps Aries to get rid of any boredom in the relationship. On the other hand for Gemini the lively and extrovert personality of Aries is almost irresistible. There is another fall however. Gemini is a natural flirt and this can kick out the jealousy in Aries and the result would be Aries becoming over possessive about Gemini and not allowing the partner to go out of sight. This can infuriate Gemini who can never stand being directed by others in their action even they might love the partner most. If Gemini fails to give what Aries want, combined with the jealousy of Aries, that could mark the end of the relationship, at least for the time being. Yet both Gemini Aries will come out of the situation that might look desperate at times and have life long friendship/relationship never to be broken. Conclusion Both Gemini and Aries may lack restraints in relationship that is extremely important for making it successful. At times there could be feeling of lack of protection and unwanted attitude and to make the relationship work they both have to improve their levels of understanding of each other. Once that is achieved, Aries Gemini Compatibility could be the match made in heaven.

materialistic.

2011-03-24T20:30:00.002+08:00

yea i realised i am. for now. at this moment.
i set my mind on this kate spade bag. then i decided to get a coach as well. because its reallly cheap in states. how can i go against my will and not get it??
then i check on my fav brands..

Channel: 3.5k
MiuMiu: 2.5K
Prada: 2.8k
Balanciaga: 2.5k

i cant afford any of them AT ALL. so i shall stick bag to my kate spade and coach. like damn japalang. sometimes i see auntie carrying them i really feel so sad. they dont come cheap to me actually.
infact, i really need to go hungry for a few months. :)

its just a wish, i told myself whn i start working, get my pay, i will get a branded bag. to fufil myself. and i was saying, a CHANEL. but i totally cant afford. like really. so bobian. get some cheapskates first! satiafy basic need then go higher level.

ok so now bintan bantam taiwan.. where am i gg? can somebody tell me? i want a getaway trip. why is it so hard?

SHOPPING.

2011-03-22T21:12:00.002+08:00

i want to shop BADLY. REALLY.
but im gg relax with fat next mth so i gt nt money.
plus his sis is gg to the states and i'll be asking her to get me my kate spade and coach tt fcuking cost me 1k alr. the trip will cost me 0.5k. total 1k.
i hv to starve for afew mths alr. :(
i didnt buy chanel becuz i couldnt afforddddddd.......
the bag i really really really wanted cuz me 3.5k.
the bad i really really damn really god damn really wanted cuz mt 5k. half a grand. :S
so what to do?
agnes b and marc jacobs gt nth i like.
ok mayb i'll get either katespade or coach. :S

i wanna shop la!

The man I love.

2011-03-20T21:31:00.002+08:00

So recently there was alot of miscommunication which idk what is wrong. And the point tt he had confinement last week which means I nv get to see him for two weeks was terrible enough alr. By right, we shld hv endless to talk to whine abt but we end up having cold war with all the silence and sighs. (mayb it's really my pms tt is gg on) and so, I shld be feeling so god damn excited for his book out which I am. And so this was the plan..

I will fetch him frm pasir ris, we'll go home together, he will wash his stuffs and we'll head out for some quick lunch and to mount sophia for my long awaited flea, then we'll watch my long awaited movie and end with a nice dinner which he has been craving for. Now I understand tt I am selfish for all these becuz since he has been stucked in tekong and he would hv smth better in mind to do. So I was waiting for him to speak up. But him being very nice try to accommodate me and then I guess i was pretty annoyed and then I was like, we'll talk tmr and the silence continue.. But tt was still the plan. So below was the actual thing tt happened.

Reached his house, he began washing his stuffs and it was raining.

Fat: wanna go causewaypoint eat alr?
Me: raining leh, u want to go ah?
Fat: oh then u don't wanna go?

Then his mum came in and ask abt lunch so we were like it's okay, we hv craving for the Maggie so we'll eat Maggie and then he was like..

Fat: at night how?
Mom: how I know u?
Fat: wanna eat crab but abit troublesome.

So there were happily discussing and then they settled for chiantown fish head. I admit i was pretty sad because i planned so long for the flea! And I'm nt gg!! NOT GOING! you get it?? the point is is know he wants to spend time with his family but why cant he say it right from the start and why must he tell me tt he wants to go to the flea with me? OK nvm, so I was like :( "so I'll miss my flea yea?" then he suggested tmr(sunday) which i know its not possible so i said we'll talk abt this later. So for the rest of the day, we were eating Maggie watching gnomeo and Juliet then sleeping then to eat with his parents then walk around Chinatown and home. And the best part was throughout the whole walk around chinatown i guess he was too tired to even hear me or to even pay attention to me at all. mayb i was asking for too much becuz NS life is tough and he must be very tired.

but then again, him being the VERY NICE HIM, wants to spend time with me and so no matter how tired he is, he will hang in there but me being the VERY MEAN one of course will show the CHAO BIN and we started the silence and sighing again.

okays so heres the plan for sunday, he will go to his ahma's place in the morning, then he will be at my place at 1pm, we will eat carls junior at jurong point and watch barbie live then to my flea OR watch the 230 movie and jp and back to my place for dinner because my dad has prepared for him for a loonnnggg timeee alr! but u see, since he need to book in at 7pm [we was actually 730] we need to hv early dinner and so flea will nt be a good idea becuz we will rush here and there and of course i know he WILL BE VERY TIRED and there will be no fun.. so i wasnt very excited and i PLANNED TO GO ON SAT. okays? SAT, not sunday and why? because we dont hv to rush here and there.

but then i received his call at 11plus which he just woke up and he didnt went to his grandma's place. he wasnt even sleeping until 5am, [I KNOW WHAT HE IS DOING SO I DIDNT BLAME HIM] so i know he is very tired and u know him being very SLOW and FORGETFUL sure cant reach at 1pm. ok nvm, by the time actually i got no more mood because ah, he needs to eat early and movie will nt be a plane becuz i really dont want him to rush here and there and to even rush his dinner becuz he doesnt hv proper meals in tekong. so i wanted to tell him to call off it but appraently he called and he was on his dad's car and i know cfm he will come my hse put his things and his dad will fetch us to jurong point so okay nvm, move on.

in the end bcuz of me and my CHAOBIN we didnt eat carls junior, there wasnt any movies, barbie or even FLEA. yea i was SULKY BADLY in a BAD MOOD. yea, PMS. can?

but in all i wasnt exactly angry at him becuz all these tt happened has its own reason. i was just angry at myself so i didnt say a single word whn he asked. i know im god damn annoying and i behave like a bitch becuz he did nth wrong and as i was throwing my princess temper he was still tryin to find out what happen showing me patience.. fine, i like to act like a kid.

but whatever it is, this makes up him and is the man i love. :)

Why you ai Mai ai Mai?

2011-03-18T22:58:00.002+08:00

Cuz the pt is I actually wanted you to go with me. I dont knw what's with all these communication breakdown recently. I'm really annoyed. Mayb it's me. Yea. Right.

2011-03-14T23:32:00.002+08:00

I like to log on to fb to look at the happy pictures of both of them in the past to remind myself that I'm a bitch. It doesn't make me feel good but it feels real. I rly think I'm a loser.

2011-03-08T19:29:00.002+08:00

you know even till now ppl still ask me abt a levels. TSK. pisses my off ttm.
because these are just nosey ppl waiting for ur downfall.
whats wrong with them?

anyway, to my surpriseeeeee, idk why are ppl asking abt my 21st birthday whn i dont intend to celebrate. whn i wanted to hor, ppl like damn sian. now i dont wana celebrate i hv ppl asking me about, "whn's ur celebration??" not one but 2345678910 etc. wth is wrong??

so now what?

And life moves on...

2011-03-05T12:10:00.001+08:00

Disappointed. Effort wasted. I lost it all. Fine. It's nt like I didn't expected it.

It's like, if u can do well means u can. Nobody will ever pull u down. If they can, it simply means you're nt determined enough. No other excuses. They are nth but empty words to pull u away frm reality.

Move on Hun! :)

Tumblr.

2011-03-02T15:30:00.001+08:00

I'm afraid tt I will lose you because I took you away frm her.

dooms day:4th march 2011

2011-03-01T19:28:00.003+08:00

alright, announcement ppl. read carefully alright.

no phone calls or text msges will be entertained on friday.
yours truly will only collect after 5pm.
which means, anytime before that, i'll be working, unless i change my mind and take leave. hehes!
if there are too many junk calls, calls will be diverted to fat fat phone.
so unless u guys wanna hv a chat with fat fat, do not call me.
thanks.

xoxo
xinya

2011-02-23T14:47:00.002+08:00

time flies whn im with fat. booked out on monday, went to eat with him and stayed over. next day went to work and watched no strings attached. met him for lunch today. boo! gone, he is gonna book in today. damn sianz ttm one. normally rebekah and i take our own sweet like time past so slow one, but ah, i havent even eat finish whn im with fat ah, alr no time.

why like tt???????????????

EXTREMELY ANGRY TTM. :(

2011-02-20T16:00:00.002+08:00

you know i planned for today for like sooooooooooooooooo longgg!
and everything went upside down.. woohaaa.. whats new?! very sad.
i woke up at 7am today, despite sleeping at 3am plus last night. neh mind...
i went to market and buy the ingredients, dont hv, NEH MIND.
i go ntuc and buy, OOS, NEH MIND. change recipe.
ok lor, go home rest awhile watch tv, went to take out my mixer.
WTF! GONE! dont hv! NEH MIND! search high and low for it.
AH! its with benno! NEH MIND. go and take from him. (tt requires me to climb the oh bridge twice)
then very happy reach home all sweaty, found out tt he didnt return the whole set!
NEH MIND, called him again, then went to take from him AGAIN! (climb the OH bridge AGAIN!)
NEH MIND NEH MIND NEH MIND. if the choc turns out well all worth it.
so i was happily making it, THEN AH. damn it looks weird, NEHMIND. just make.
THEN AH. u know whats next ah, the god damn HOT choc burnt my fingers like wtf so ouch! NEHMIND, abit only NEH MIND. awhile ok alr. NEH MIND. BUT AH, best part is, the choc TASTE LIKE SHIT. it didnt turn out well. DAMN CHUI. all go dustbin. FML FML FML.

u know i went ntuc spent 20bucks on the god damn expensive chocolate and stupid cream cheese to make, then ah, previously i went diaso to get the cute cute choc aluminium cups along with afew things for me to pack my choc one so it looks super naise tt kind. 10bucks? NOW, these 30 BUCKS is in the dustbin. TOTAL WASTAGE. karma on me i know. how can throw food away like tt. woah! curse until no tmr tt kind.. very very very very ANGRY!

then now im allllll BROKE!!!!!!! u know this two months ah, i spent 1k JUST ONE PRESENTS for other ppl. :) very smart! NTH FOR MYSELF. HOW NAISE OF ME.. damn annoyed now.
i totally feel so depressed and hopeless and i hope i will die instantly at this moment. LIKE NOW. now to the end of month is......... 8days.. to getting pay into my pocket rougly 13 days.
my bank gt 60 bucks. VERY NAISE.

now, point the gun towards my head and pull thr trigger. TYVM.

TGIF

2011-02-18T10:05:00.002+08:00

i've been waiting for fri to come for soooo long, ytd hanisah wasnt here in the morning, today she wasnt here in the morning again. these few days huh, freedom max lehs. next week i'll suffer. becuz ah, month end coming. now is the slack period like the second week of the month normally abit slack one. then after tt chion again. damn sick one.

im so sianz now everyday, sick cannot go runnin cannot go swimming nv go out. damn zzz. everyday after work will go home and watch tv. cannot meet fat, so sianzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ttm. ok so today is fri im havin tuition with weiren thn at night i meeting neighbours.

come sat shld be out buying ger's present. if nt i'll be out buying bro's present. and i need to run some errands for myself. come sunday is the preparation of ______ muahahahahaha. (top secret!) then come monday., woooooooooooohooooooooooo!! im gg to meet myBOTAKboy!!!! muahaha. lousy me nv take leave. monday gg his hse and tues still hafta go work frm his hse. like tt everymonth take leave uh, i wouldnt hv a long break for holiday eh baby! lets save up my annual leave of 5 days.

u see im considering not taking leave for a lvls results.
take 1 day leave for the MBS thingy. (mayb unpaid leave)
then ah, 5 days full stretch annual leave go holiday.
shiok nt? but abit impossible one i know. hais...

cuz if im gone, nobody will take charge! woahh. sians lehs.but i think can la. she veh nice one. hehehessss.. ok i cant wait till monday like srsly. damn annoying one. zzzzz... cmi alr. today cfm get laugh by neighbours. i prepare myself alr.

i shld srsly stop misusing time for all these... liquidity report later! ciaos!

o.mustad.

2011-02-16T10:38:00.003+08:00

as im typing this entry, im doing up my receipt voucher. (trust me.)
hanisah is nt here today, so here i am, woohoo! mind me, the server room knows what im doing up here. hehehes!

its wed today, 5 more days to see my dearest. tts kinda, idk. long or short? anyway, thank god he is stuck inside tekkong becuz yours truly has so much time preparing for postvday presents tt are prepared with so much love. hehes. (I FINISHED MY YTD OREDI!)

and this brings me to wongcc 20th birthday present which i owed him for 8months. seriously idk what to get tts why its been idling there. i swear after my feb pay im gonna get smth for him and meet him out because ever since the last meet up last yr and his book in i havent seen him. and i know his os will be" u hv time for us mehs? what abt ur bf?" tt kinda of thing but in his heart he is dyin to meet me this old friend. ok, seriously, no more man u shirt. ok then what? tell meeeeee!!!!

since now im free after work i can watch tv 7pm to 10pm daily and catch all my dramas on tv. its been long since i do tt i quite enjoy it. come back later, go do my things first

2011-02-14T21:40:00.001+08:00

okays, very dui lian. i feel so god damn embarassed.
kill me. im sorry. im childish.
:) im happy again. girls. they are freak.

why bok zhong ming want to say i am childish?

2011-02-14T20:34:00.002+08:00

ok i gt tt frm tumblr. tt makes me even more sad.
idontcare.. why is zhongming saying im childish?
this is so annoying.
is asking for a text too much?? is saying happy valentines' day very hard?
is it is it is it??
BOK ZHONG MING U TELL ME!!!!!!!!! RAHHH!

im so unhappy. i dont like you. i dont like him.
im gg to sleep soon! RAHHHHS!

2011-02-14T19:19:00.001+08:00

很烦lehs.

2011-02-14T18:20:00.001+08:00

Is it worth the effort? I doubt myself everyday.

Vday

2011-02-14T14:07:00.001+08:00

Work to 5pm. Miscellaneous stuffs at imm. Estimated home time: 7pm (latest) watch tv and slack. 10pm=sleep.

My vday. :)

2011-02-10T20:49:00.001+08:00

I finally decided to go to the doc for my sore throat! This morning my phlegm was with blood and damn disgusting! And then now my eyes is swollen. Thank you doc!

myBOTAKman.

2011-02-09T21:05:00.003+08:00

botak fat was enlisted ytd. im very sad indeed. but the very independent me sure can do w/o a man one lor! dont look down on me okays pple! but sad to say, fall sick today. running fever, damn jia lat. went to work and teach tuition somemore, maciam wonderwoman. stay at home also nth do right? today gt company lunch somemore. now im feeling very feverish but still wanna blog cuz im waiting for my botak fat to call me. like what only.

i miss botak fat lah! can anot?? can??

and at the same time, i think medince make me worst, i hv sore throat, terrible sore throat, but im coughing like mad, my throat damn itchy. then is wad? drink liang cha also wrong, dont drink also wrong. piang! i dont like to fall sick one really. like weakling like tt.

ok im done bye bye.

Fat's enlistment.

2011-02-07T08:21:00.001+08:00

2011-02-05T14:17:00.001+08:00

tsk tsk. call me a meanie.
call me annoying.
call me a bitch.
call me crazy.
call me mad.
call me childish.
whatever u want.
for i am one. :)

Searching for meaning beyond words. Can’t find much. Can’t figure – am i looking for something or am i waiting to be found?

2011-02-05T12:20:00.002+08:00

-via seancheah.

i woke up today early to blog to tumblr to hop around the internet with an empty stomach. mom and dad has left for a movie treat by my bro and i. now i'm at home staring into this blank space wondering what shld i blog. i rmb hving so much last night to blog abt now everything's gone. there werent a particular reason for me to get angry. its just emotions. and for tt small lil nonsense i tossed and turned. i didnt sleep the whole night. staring at the bloody iphone, scrolling up and down, gg to the main page, reset it. shake it. then went back to sleep and finally 1 hr later, i did the same again. so this continue on for the night until i finally decided to gave up on sleep. girls and their crazy emotions and nonsense. so what? boys and their games. we're on par. (dont try to measure it)

10am im here on this page, 1pm im this here. so now what?

2011-02-05T01:31:00.001+08:00

So much so of wanting to blog here. Tumblr still feels more comfortable and less transparent.

2011. [long post]

2011-01-12T19:34:00.005+08:00

2011 will be a hectic one. hello! its only the start of the yr lehs!! why like tt?
start my yr working in O. Mustad & Son as an acct assistant.
job scope damn heavy.
other than normal posting of invoices and stuffs.
you need to do weekly cashflow budget report, liquidity report, AR overdue report. these are needed to be submitted to the HQ. everyday i learn new things. even excel spreadsheet looks like an alien.
bank statement remittance etc. woah! tt day she told me unpresented cheques. nearly freaked out.
i wanted to ask her if i can bring my frank wood! HAHAHAHA!
so normally my accounts executive will say this..
hanisah: xinya, come i teach you ________ .
xinya: oh okays, (then i will bring my pen and paper and sit there)

then i will sit there attentively, listen, understand, absorb, try to memorize and copy down things i need to know so tt i can rmb the procedures to do them. its really nt easy at all man.
to get one figure there are so many procedures. man! kill me. then after tt i will hv to do it. so its like lecture, exams, then she assess after tt. can freak out one. damn stress.

today was smth simple, FINALLY. insurance prepayments! PHEW! double entry correct! posted into prepaid acct and my journal voucher alr! gt alot to rmb thou. refresh my memory abit. cold sweat ttm. morning she didnt come, so i posted my invoices do some miscellaneous then do some filing. easy peasy i like! i nv knew filing could be so much fun! xinyi ah, treasure the filing periods.

other than work will be tuition on wed and thurs frm next week onwards. then it will hopefully be fat's time and cater some to friends. planning in process. doesnt hv much time left with fat thou. friends, pls be patient. im sorry.

u know on sat was a really bad day, i was suppose to go sentosa with vollies, but then i cant, then at night neighbours called for mj, so i was like. ok i think i shld go, but was with fat so i asked him along since im not an expert at mj, and guess what? zm call as well! totally freaked out. uh but some lucky man won my neighbours! :) money goes to cab anyway. (wasted!) it was mj at esther hse thou. her hse hv 3dogs! i was totally freaked out at the start but in the end i guess there were too cute and irresistible! heheh.

okays actually i thought i wouldnt hv time for blogging but i shld come here to blog more often about my mundane life since im gg to be 21 and gonna be an adult so i will hv some childish thing to look at and reminisce abt.

im gg msia on fri-sat to tai's hse. not bad. looking fwd! quite happy. shld be fun.

im quite sad everyday actually because it 26days to fat's enlistment i know im a sucker because i always laughed at my gf! now im getting it, you see, karma. i know. totally.
but every morning i nv fail to wake up feeling all depress abt gg to work and not able to spend time with him. yea its all abt quality and not quantity. call me greedy i want both. lucky me, we still spend most of our free time together, quality time, doing things we like. actually watching movies most of the time. and acutally im abit selfish, we watch movies of my kind. love stories, horror movies. and what else?

love and other drugs, i really want to give a a 5/5 but its still a cliche, 4/5 thou. i like it so much esp the last part. here it goess babehs!

"There's a lot i dont understand about life, you meet thousands of people and met one person and your life has change"

and i feel so much abt this movie. just too much, i was fcuking tearing in the movie theater tt day while watching it. damn it i hate it. damn embarrassing one. so im gotta dl this movie and watch it like 100000000times. :)

i dont know why im feeling tt way after i watched the movie. im just in deep shit i know. for i fell way too deep than expected. way too far than planned. im hopeless. life doesnt hv happy endings like movies do. live w/o regrets thou. im satisfied. really.

new yr resolution. [lose weight get skinny]

2011-01-02T17:41:00.003+08:00

2010 was a pretty bad one. really. it was. it has been. and it did.
ppl left. and ppl came.
ppl grew apart and a part.
i smiled and i teared.
i trust and i doubt.
everything was beyond my control and i lost it all.
for all tt had happened, im still glad it happened.
for everything happen for a reason.
and tts why i'm here, enjoying my life even thou it is nt perfect.
even thou i'm still fighting to what i want to be.

2011 is here.
21st is coming. no more childplay.
yea, being skinny is still one of my MAJOR resolution.
nth much to ask for 2011.
i just want to make full use of these yr to do what i want to and what i need to.
spend my time meaningfully with meaningful ppl. :)
cant exactly come up with smth. but i'm gonna acheive smth. HAHA!

alright, christmas was goood. it really was, as long as you spent it with the one you love.
even if it means doing nth.
i cant ask for more, because what i need was just right here infront of me.
i just love waking up in the morning in your arms.
and thank god i got the spent the last bit of 2010 with you.
baby you know you really annoy me 99% of the time. really.
and tts what makes u my love. so just be you. and the rest is cool <3

im taking a train tmr.
im excited. till here!

happy new year to all!

bought 2 dress while stamping invoice. (mngr out for lunch!)

2010-12-14T21:14:00.002+08:00

okays, job frm yw wasnt tt bad. easy job, pay not bad. :) TY NYW.
so since yst i worked at dynacast.
damn sianz one i tell you, tmr i think my real job starts.
this two days just check invoice stamp invoice file invoice.
actually all is invoice la. wah lao! phobia of invoice. can cry lehs.
tt 3 boxes nt cute hor i tell u, i see until i wanna vomit!
see amt, see invoice no. flip flip check check tally. wah piang!

then today need to match invoice with purchase order (PO) and delivery order (DO)
wah piang! worst! the PO and DO no. i see until can cry one.
then tmr need to key in, give me freight charges pls!
easy job! key in and chop stamp of mngr to sign only!
tsk tsk tsk.

acutally i chose the job myself lor, working in the finance dept under APT,
then i got it, like damn lucky, [even thou pay like shit]
now i grumble abt the job. APT all invoice what! the file like killer one.
colleagues wise normal ppl.
abit different channel one. nvm la.

weekdays work till 530 like tt, this weekend go malaysia for cousin's wedding.
so little time lehsssss... the only thing i learnt in life is to grumble non stop.
at the same time, do what u are suppose to do. like ENJOY only.

bye bye!

2010-12-09T11:45:00.003+08:00

dear all,

your truly has gotten a job at DYNACAST.
im working with the apt [accounts payable team].
doing invoices payments and helping with the audit if im moving up fast.
whole shit or workload coming my way.
with many many OTs and warned by my interviewer. (finance mngr mr eric cheng)
pay is bangala pay. so dont poke into my low pay.
bro just scolded me stupid! hahahaha. fineee!
its a 3mths temp job though.
given 2 weeks to learn and stuffs. so yeap!
working hrs ppl : 815-515 (OT expected)
free only during weekends. :)
i need time for fat. so so so so so....
uhhhhhhhhhh! what to do????

got job complain.
no job complain. then how?
bye bye.

2010-12-06T22:00:00.002+08:00

okays this is fcuking retarded!! i am gg to find a job.
fat is working. he has no time for me. okays he has.
after 5pm. tts my ideally resting at home nuaing time.
so i gg to find a job, spend all my time working.
and then we both hv no timeee!!!!!!!
NAISE. i like.
bye!

2010-12-06T21:26:00.003+08:00

finished 42k with fat and bels.
hahaha. the two with the same birthday. they finally met.
the two most annoying friend i can ever hv in my life.
how magical. lols.

holidays started.
the thought of march coming soon was daunting.
if results were bad, it just meant, holidays forever.
i needa work.
im not finding. :)

okays im looking for finance dept.
accounts assistant
accounts payables.
anything to do with accounts.
thankyou.

have LCCI level 2
CAT finalist cert. (t5-T10)

liberalized.

2010-12-03T20:42:00.003+08:00

alright! a levels ended. tt burden down.
freeeeeeedom alr...
i cannot imagine i didnt gave cheah my no so he called me tt day but u know what will happen next.
thank god this fellow msg me in fb and ask me abt it! wooha!
meet up soon! too much to talk!

so i hv a list of things to do.
first up is 42km to complete. this sun. see me die.
im gg to take train to msia with fat.
want to go with meatball[hahahaha!] to find tai also!
there is too much things i need to do. i need to get a planner.
write it down and complete it! :)

2010 is finally coming to an end. im so fcuking glad its gg to end. fcukyeah~!
this yr was with so many ups and down right from the start for the yr. till now.
its beeen a 'fun-filled' yr! hahaha!
so many things, i dont even think i hv the ability to differentiate the right and the wrong.
life's like shyt. yea. 2011 come quick! brand new yr!
:):):)

Maybe I Shld stop believing. Be it truth or lies, they ain’t worth my time.

2010-11-20T23:27:00.003+08:00

life like shyt.
a levels aint gg well. thanks econs. u best!
4more to go. tts 2 weeks.
i really need a getaway trip.
but my moolahs are depleting. hais.
i needa work, and go for a trip and take a BREAKKKKKKKKKKKK!
FCUK YOU FUCK HER FUCK EVERYBODY!
im so fcuking annoyed! YES I AM I AM I AM I AM..
i am very very UNHAPPY. TTM!!!
yet, there is nth i can do, nth.
no use doing this man, really.
i got myself into this shyt rmb?? yea right.
always be responsible for urself and ur own actions.
blame nobody but urself. yea tts it!
will u give me a break and let me go. im damn tired of this.
its only less than 3months?? yea. and FCUK.
what is 3months man. and theres so many many.. or shld i use too much??
its uncountable man.. in this short time.
what the fcuk did i do to deserve all this. mayb because of the intention i had whn i started this?
thn thank you. i`ve got what i need to. im so sick of all this tt is gg on.
its not abt i love you and u love me and yay! lets be together! its nv so simple.
u know actually everything start frm me. i am the root of the problem.
mayb if i think back im the cause of all these shyt. FML. :)
mayb i was the one tt cross over the boundary from the start. yet i am blaming others.
cookies? sushi? birthday card? bento voucher? wtf are all these?
its a mutual thing i shld say. yea, i im the one. fine.
then i go start blaming ppl fr coming near me whn i go near ppl. bitch.
fine fine fine fine fine fine fine. yea im fine. dont worry abt it. im just bitching about my own life.
so stay out of it yea? thank you.

its like, u nv wanted to step into this.
u took some time, then somehow, u decided tt yea, mayb u shld just believe it for this once.
i mean, u shldt condemn right? so yea, u took a step forward, and then things were good.
so u took another step forward. and then and then u fell. and then then u thought, hey! its not tt bad afterall, mayb u`re just being paranoid.

then then then, suddenly, somebody just burst ur bubble.
oh yea, here comes the hot like chillie babehs nonsense.
everything went upside down. everything u believe in was a complete bullshit. then u just realise how stupid u were to do this. its toooooooooo late to turn back. now u`re in it. u cant step out of it. oh well.... GENIUS!!

and here goes the song,
headed for a heart heart heartbreak
and i dont ever ever wanna hear you say
dont say you love me, dont ever..

kthxbye.

its been long since i blog!

2010-11-15T23:05:00.003+08:00

so here i am!!!! yea i did smth very childish but i like. and i kinda regretted! yeaa. FML!!! :) who caresss??? uhhhhhh!!!!!!! why the hell did i do tt stupid thing man! TOO KAN CHIONG ALR! dang dang dang! kill me pls!! i think im really childish and i know fat is disturbed by my childishness esp if im gg to, you knw. zzz! but but but, aiyahs! fcuk it! damn it. i suck. i think im really a loserr!! oh well, what to do, whats done cannot be undone. :) thumbs up to me!!!

anyway i just had my GP paper thumbs up for tt and thumbs down for myself. i did badly. :) life is pretty boring by gg to sch everyday to study but not conscientiously. thanks to monopoly card. :) other than tt life is moving on.. erm... airplane speed?? 2010 is gg to end and im quite excited for it to end. i cant wait for 2011 to come cuz u know this yr seriously suck. my life is fcuk by many many thing like you know. nvm. im a pretty messed up person anyway. who care la huhs.

hope for the best in 2011.
cuz its a lvl results. if its shit.
im doom. tts the end of my brand new yr thank you.
byebye.

2010-10-18T21:16:00.002+08:00

hi, a levels are nearing.
im panicking.
wont be back till a lvls are over.
anyway i think i really hv split personality.
esp now. right now at this moment.
things are fine. really.
but why am i not fine?
maybe i'm just thinking too much. being paranoid.
or am i just living in self denial.
why the hell did i step in knowing tt things will turn out this way?
im nth but a stubborn biatch.
goodbye!

2010-09-30T22:35:00.002+08:00

tom: u know what sucks? realising that everything u believe in was a complete bullshit.
tts from tom to summer.

and i shall say this.
"u know what sucks? realising that everything u said to me was a complete bullshit."
"lies...:)"
"we'll still be friends, sure. why not??"
__________________________________________________________________________
prelims results pending.
friends, pls stop asking me bout my results,
i will mass send all of u whn i get back everything!
i know u all not kaypoh but concern, tyvm.

alright, everytime whn good things happen sure got hot like chillie babehs stuffs one.
NAISE. i like. continue. im not following my mind, neither am i following the heart.
becuz i`ll lose out both ways. so im gg the way which fate brings me to.
dosent matter how many bruises i might get in the end, its a learning process.
woah, im such a optimist! :) NAISE.
bye...

2010-09-27T16:12:00.002+08:00

its raining today.
monday alr blues..
and then now is raining.
plus tdy is another hot like chillie babehs day.
just hide under blanket act like hamster lor.
normally these days in the past.. like the PASTT.
i would normally be stuck at this hse in this room snuggle in the bed under the thick blanket enjoying his companion and then eating sweets and homemade popcorn and watching my favourite movie while enjoying the sound of the rain. but u know u cant seriously compare everything u did with this person with another new person. u cant expect things to be the same. whats more about this abnormal relationship that im in with this particular person which is seriously killing me. where am i heading to seriously. feeling guilty for all these and then sometimes missing the old times with the old one and then thinking if things would be back. then at the same time thinking if this new person truly love you? wth is this? and the whn u see this person with another girl ur heart goes left right up down centre and got smashed into many tiny pieces beyond hope that kind. then u want to forget but u cannot. actually the past is past alr. the prob lies with, nobody can ever replace the first, even if it sucks, ppl still compare. and then actually u realised that the old one is alr over and both had alr moved on, its just pretty memories to hold on to. so its really nth. right? den u look at the new one, fcuk got nothing lor! no memories one. HAHAHAHA. pathetic only, but everything starts with nothing, so u want to do smth, den after u do alr u will feel very stupid then throw away. and u will be thinking like why u do so much? for wad also? like fcukup huhs. u dont even know if the person is lying to u or wad. actually both feels the same tts why, the same level of insecurity. tts why. u see idk what i saying also. ah nvm la. bye bye. i think my cookie freeze long enough alr

2010-09-27T14:21:00.002+08:00

我寂寞寂寞就好

還是原來那個我不過流掉幾公升淚所以變瘦
對著鏡子我承諾遲早我會還這張臉一堆笑容
不算什麼愛錯就愛錯
早點認錯早一點解脫

我寂寞寂寞就好這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了想到快瘋掉
死不了就還好
我寂寞寂寞就好你真的不用來我回憶裡微笑
我就不相信我會笨到忘不了賴著不放掉
人本來就寂寞的借來的都該還掉
我總會把你戒掉

還是原來那個你是我自己做夢你有改變什麼
再多的愛也沒用每個人有每個人的業障因果
會有什麼什麼都沒有
早點看破才看得見以後

我寂寞寂寞就好這時候誰都別來安慰擁抱
就讓我一個人去痛到受不了想到快瘋掉
死不了就還好
我寂寞寂寞就好你真的不用來我回憶裡微笑
我就不相信我會笨到忘不了賴著不放掉
人本來就寂寞的我總會把你戒掉

woah woah woah.

2010-09-27T12:15:00.002+08:00

everyday also hot like chillie babehs one.
happy family lor. one bigg bigg happy family!! NAISEEE!!!
nvm nvm nvm.

anyway i wanted to go out today but weird ahs, today nobody wants to go out with me.
wth wth wth. hey hey hey i am free. HELLO?????????????
today weather so naise but like nobody wants to go out.
u know whn u stuck at home u get depression like how i always do?
here comes my depression.
okaysbye!

2010-09-26T18:09:00.003+08:00

daiso-ed and moonlight resonance2.
i think im damn crazy to go daiso and get all those nonsense things.
i mean why do i need to buy all those right?
then the second point is why the hell i so stupid go spend my money on all these and make for this person? im either stupid or very stupid alr. and the the next pt is why bok nv stop me from buying? true enough he cannot stop me la, i will secretly go and buy also. if not i will just buy. so all in all im back to the square one. so much for saying i will this i will that. it all goes back to 0. wow. but then i just want to make lor. like no reason also. just the "feeeeeelinggs!!!" [HAHAHAHA! - inside joke]
okthxbye.

2010-09-24T14:43:00.002+08:00

A very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.

2010-09-21T22:28:00.000+08:00

hi,

i want to take a train ride to malaysia back and forth.
u want to join me?

xinya.

2010-09-20T17:24:00.003+08:00

hi!

i want to watch this two movies.
1) love cuts
-i know its a local production that may sounds lame. about breast cancer. but hell yea! all woman should watch. anybody wanna watch me lao niangzzz??

2) shock labyrinth
- i wanna catch this i 3D the ghost will jump at you. criteria no. 1, if u want to watch with me, u must be able to send me home! i know neighbours dont watch horror movie, so forget it! who who who?? ASK ME OUT PLEASE!!!! oh yea, i dont know why it says its out alr but got no slot. LOLS? oh btw, if u stay far away from my for example at pasir ris right, we can still watch like in the afternoon and get home before 7pm. :)

things to do after a lvls.
1) picnic at botanic garden.
2) visit universal studio
3) get a job!
4) buy my air tics go aussie!! muahahaha!

actually there are many more.
like i want to slack and watch movies all day long with someone.
then eat and sleep and behave like a hamster.

ok i stop my list before it goes on and on.
today's mob i thought it was better than P1.
but u know, things nv turn out the way we want it to be.
i had mense yst! fcuktard!~
i`ve been havin mense every 18-20days!!
it shld be 28days cycle mans! wth wth wth.
and its damn heavy flow! like in the morning i bath right.
the whole floor water is bloody one. damn disgusting i ownself think very yucks!
ok i want go eat my dumplings. byebye.

oh i watch resident evil with BFF alr. FOC! woahs!
and then i read his blog i found out i owe him one!
how abt boonlay power nasi lemak?

2010-09-18T23:53:00.002+08:00

few more minutes before today ends.
tmr will be a better day i hope!
today is just not my day.
i shld prolly do this in twitter.
but i just dont hv the connection with twitter.

2010-09-18T19:24:00.000+08:00

today suck pretty much.
i dont know why i am letting it affect me so much but yeah.

2010-09-18T15:55:00.003+08:00

i cleaned my table, changed my bedsheet, sweep my floor, change the curtains.
woah... i still feel like a living dead.
it all comes bac to me again.
its me, ultimately.
am i too demanding then?
am i asking for too much?
am i too selfish?
is it just my problem?

2010-09-18T03:13:00.003+08:00

hi world, im still alive at this hour.
yea babeh, im not studying.
just staring blankly at my notes. :)
i deactivated my fb. dont ask me why.
i`ll be back thou.
anyway, i think i want to leave this space too.
:):):)

karma. totally.

2010-09-18T01:08:00.004+08:00

it wouldnt hurt this way if i dont hv feelings.
so now if i say, i dont hv feelings, it must be a lie.
but it feels better to lie. really.

i dont understand why am i gg thru this shit alone myself.
i mean in the first place i dont hv to go thru this.
i tried so hard to suppress myself of every single thing.
and it all comes to naught.
thanks for reminding what's on the 18th.
i completely feel like a fool. i've made a fool out of myself.
i want to cry, but i cant. i want to feel angry. but im not.
i want to blame you, but its not ur fault.
in the end, it all comes back to me, myself.
i feel so sick and tired of myself behaving this way.
its like, getting slash a million times, and feel nth.
i'm such a loser.

2010-09-17T23:54:00.001+08:00

tell me brown cow how to stop this mess.
tell me brown cow how to settle this shit.
tell me brown cow what shld i do.
just tell me, brown cow.

2010-09-17T13:53:00.001+08:00

i dont cry anymore whn i watch this...

2010-09-15T21:31:00.002+08:00

summer: i just woke up one day and knew..
tom: knew what?
summer: what i ever wasnt sure of you.
tom: u know what sucks? realising that everything u believe in was a complete bullshit.

yea this is the god damn part i hate ttm.
its like... WOOOWWWW!
yea i know everytime i watch i will post this. hahaha.
my bro was asking to shut up whnever i watch this.

u know its how amazing i can memorise the whole of this movie.
uh, mayb the next movie i need to conquer is letters to juliet.
hahahaha. i kinda like tt.. :)

2010-09-15T18:38:00.004+08:00

i am just disgusted at myself.
with the things i do, the things i say, the way i behave and act.
every single thing.

this is a story about boy meets girl.
this is not a love story.

HOT LIKE CHILLI BABEHS!! MY LOVEEEEE!!!

2010-09-13T19:53:00.004+08:00

today, reality struck me real hard.
it was like, you've finally woke up from ur beautiful dream.
okays not exactly but i couldnt find proper words and a better illustration.
but hell it was like a major thunderstorm.
can somebody just hire me to hollywood please?
i really think i deserve some oscar awards for pretending so well. :)
i didnt know my mental state was that strong.
i must really thank god for sending me these ppl, to wake me up and still, hv ppl beside me accompanying me while i'm gg thru this torment in my mind.
u know how hard was it for me to face you and her?
screw you screw her screw myself.
oh wait, why screw you and her?
i brought this upon myself, i hv myself to blame and bear the consequences of feeling this way.
i shldnt be in the picture btw, it was just an accident, you were just a passerby.
many yrs down the road we wouldnt even rmb each other, or perhaps, we wouldnt want to remind our self of this ugly past.
to be fair, i shldnt blame you, because why blame you right?
i was the one tt cause this, i was tt god damn bitch tt created this mess.
i could hv easily said no, to you and to everything.
i could have get this straight and clear, and then, this wouldnt hv happened.
so it all started from me. bravo!
u know what the feeling is like?
u want but u dont want. u like but u dont like.
that kinda thing, its all in between, so is it a yes or a no?
and then u cant make up ur mind. and u could only say idk.
and u feel so stupid like a retard there.
you know why despite knowing what i was doing was wrong i continue on?
because i dont give a damn abt what will happen in the future but i give a damn about NOW.
i do what i want to do, love who i want to love. like who i want to like.
live my life as i want, even if im gg to screw a levels, i dont mind. i chose this path!
even if i know this is not getting anywhere, i didnt care.
so why am i feeling this way?

option 1: go into the kitchen take the parang and stab urself.
option2: just jump down la! fcuk only.
option 3: go get bang by car.
option4: sit and wait.

yea, im still at option 4. option 1-3 are just joke lahs okays!
my mental state very strong now, only a lvls. nth else.
although abit vulnerable! hahaha, kidding who right i know.

okays away from all the emoshit.
i met goh,gan,chan. i had a fcuking great time with them laughin at the slightest thing!
im so so so glad! really. :)
iloveallofulaokays!!!!!
i mean it dosent matter whether they know what i'm gg thru, but how much they understand me and laugh at my stupidity! tts what friends do alright. :)

2010-09-11T19:51:00.002+08:00

i had a really bad dream today. a really bad one.
it felt so real...
the heart-wrecking moment...
the feeling was indescribable.
im seriously confused by my own actions now.
seriously just FML man.
are there any disaster around s'pore tt can get myself killed?
or any roads tt are prone to accident?
leave me a msg alright.
i wish to get killed.
because i dont hv the courage to kill myself.

2010-09-10T11:42:00.004+08:00

supper with a full stomach with benbenkorkor and baby yangyang. HAHAHAHAHA. WTF??!!
they always came like woah only, whn i was in a mess and like hair all over.
so we were pretty not hungry but we need a meet up.
the 3 of us were mugging at home so its like a short break session.
went over to ntuc to get haagen daz ice cream! SHIOK TTM only.
green tea and caramel biscuit!! we finish the whole two tub la okays. 3 person.
we played uno as well, even UNO, such a boring game, can get us all crazyy!
laugh until like mad with " ahhhh... CATCH!" damn classic! [inside joke]
we nv fail to make fun of the most boring games ever!!!
we ended at like before 2am cuz hy and i hv to study.
so i continue to study abit until like 3am plus before i sleep on my one thousand years bedsheet nv change bed!!!
_______________________________________________________________________________

“It’s the worst feeling in the world to love & hate someone all at the same time. And it’s hard to watch things change when all you want is for them to stay the same. It’s funny but stupid how you want everything & nothing at the same time. It’s crazy when you want to let go, but you keep holding on. And when you want to move on, but you’re stuck right where you started. When feelings come & go and you can’t decide what you want. When you have so many things to say but you don’t know where to start. When you want them in your life so bad, but all you can do is push them further & further away. It’s so hard to think back to how things used to be & look at it now & realize that things are different & they may never be the same. You tell yourself it’s not worth it, but if it really didn’t matter, you wouldn’t spend so much time thinking about it.”

im beyond hopeless alr.

2010-09-09T20:39:00.001+08:00

cannot study lor. why ahss?

2010-09-09T11:54:00.001+08:00

im stress alr. :(

f.r.i.e.n.d.s

2010-09-08T20:19:00.004+08:00

for alan.

alan: really annoyed? i didnt know you took it so seriously eh?
xinya: i got you!!!
alan: really?
xinya: yeaaa.

alan: i cried you know... i thought our friendship gonna end like that..
xinya: im sorry i didnt meant to hurt you, will u forgive me pls?
alan: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo:(
xinya: :'( why? i'm sorry okays. really. :( i thought our friendship will be strong, isnt it?
xinya: fine, go ahead and ignore and annoy me, im gg to sleep! nights!
alan: i'm hurt. hahahahaha! ok goodnight! :D

yea u know ur friends get a lil weird as time goes by...

he was blowing his nose and coughing for the 1.5hrs during tuition.
so this is where i got my virus from.
tyvm! im gg to see him for the last time tmr this week!
thank god! im so sick of weiloong alrrr!!!! monday-thurs i see him u know?

i thought i would update some crappy stuffs instead of words la okays.
life has been pretty mundane. u know? prelims and a levels.
theres nth much seriously.
pretty freak out for prelims, im just gg to die.

ps: yi li. eerie, yili, ily. lols.

bottle of happiness. :)

2010-09-06T20:04:00.002+08:00

this is. the bottle of happiness. mmmm... :):):)

2010-09-04T20:58:00.000+08:00

letters to juliet

2010-09-04T16:27:00.002+08:00

“‘What’ and ‘if’ two words as nonthreatening
as words come. But put
them together side-by-side and they
have the power to haunt you for the
rest of your life: ‘What if?’…”

“I don’t know how your story ended.
But I know that if what you felt
then was love - true love - then
it’s never too late. If it was true
then it why wouldn’t it be true
now? You need only the courage to
follow your heart…”

“I don’t know what a love like that
feels like… a love to leave loved
ones for, a love to cross oceans
for… but I’d like to believe if I
ever felt it. I’d have the courage
to seize it. I hope you had the
courage to seize it, Claire. And if
you didn’t, I hope one day that you
will.”

2010-09-04T15:42:00.002+08:00

i typed a million words. and then i delete.
i type a billion words, and then i delete again.
i type a zillion words, to then delete again. :)

2010-09-01T22:27:00.002+08:00

hi, the first guy is my tuition kid weiren. he doesent look like tt now..
the second one is also my tuition kid, weiloong, he still look like that.
the 3rd one is not my tuition kid, their youngest bro, weifeng.
im just being lame... :)

and yes, i receive teachers day present. how sweet. :) not from them!
DUHSSS! hahaha.

fri is GP exam, im not prepared for it. im so gonna die and fail this.
i know i cant but u know, and im not very prepared for this prelim 2.
and then here comes a levels, as the date draw nearer, the less prepared i felt.
but all i did was... NOTHING. yea. clap for me okays. thankyouverymuchtothemax! [tyvmttm]

if someone ever sing this to me, i might just marry him... hopelessly romantic..

2010-08-30T18:02:00.002+08:00

And there you stand opened heart--opened doors
full of life with the world that's wanting more.
But I can see when the lights start to fade,
the day is done and your smile has gone away.

Let me raise you up.
Let me be your love.

May I hold you
as you fall to sleep,
when the world is closing in
and you can't breathe.
May I love you.
May I be your shield.
When no one can be found
may I lay you down.

All I want is to keep you safe from the cold...
to give you all that your heart needs the most.

Let me raise you up
Let me be your love

[chorus]
May I hold you (hold you)
as you fall to sleep.
When the world is closing in
and you can't breathe,
may I love you. (love you)
May I be your shield.
When no one can be found,
may I lay you down.

[bridge]
All that's made me (made me)
Is all worth trading (worth trading)
just to have one moment with you.
So I will let go (will let go)
all that I know (that I know)
knowing that you're here with me.

For your love is changing me.

[chorus]
May I hold you
as you fall to sleep.
When the world is closing in
and you can't breathe,
may I love you.
May I be your shield.
when no one can be found
may I lay you down

2010-08-29T18:10:00.003+08:00

my cute primary school friend.
its funny and nice how ppl still rmb u.
he still look exactly the same. as chubby and as cute.
can u even tell he is 20? hahaha.
i realised smth, guys tt are associate with me are all fat. :)
ok, not skinny.

i forgot abt the movie with paul c.c.
alright, on friday i really had a busy day.
u know after sch i had mock exam, den vball phototaking.
met bren to buy alson's stuffs. and then rush home bath and eat.
den teach tuition.
after which, home again to rest awhile. and meet paul for movie.
it really wasnt a very bad movie. at least for me.
i prolly dont feel as much because it wasnt smth tt i`ve gone thru..
but the whole process of us watching the movie was damn funny.
i met this idiot, not knowing what kind of movie im watching.
u see how much i trust this person? den whn we were inside,
he was laughin like some idiot, so i panic.
and he asked me if i know this movie, so i said idk la. DUHS.
and he showed my the poster of the movie. i was like...
WTF IS THIS A BLOODY HORROR MOVIE???
ok no, it waasnt, so i read the synopsis, like sound abit lame. but rating damn high.
the startting of the movie damn serious we keep laughin only.
but yea, anyway paul nv fail to surprise me whenever we met.
the things he always do makes me wonder if i really know him.
ok i woke up at 430pm today. :):):) bye bye

its always nice whn alson is here.

2010-08-28T21:56:00.002+08:00

i had a great day with alson alvin xavier and kerrie.
met alvin and kerrie. head down to mandai straight.
the rest all didnt turn up last minute due to some unforeseen reasons.
kenken called and say he was overseas so yea. it was only us.
we started the usuals like folding the incense so his money will grow.
and then we started communicating with him thru our means.
and it was magical. it was definitely not some coincidental shit.
he is just there...
waited till xavier was here before we burn his presents for him.
i bought alot alot alot. but i still think it wasnt enough.
i shall buy him more soon. and i will rmb to buy him more shirts! :)

went to woodlands pasarmalam and had unhealthy food.
oh man i think it was like omg.... i ate way too much.
the last time i went to visit alson was with kerrie and xavier.
and we went for pasamalam as well. high time we shld stop all this unhealthy acts.
hmm hmmm. 5days to GP exams. 12 Days to prelims 2. 10 weeks to a levels. :)

tv time. bye!

2010-08-26T00:27:00.002+08:00

u know whn ppl do things on impulse, they just do things on impulse.
but whn ppl say things on impulse, they truly meant what they say, because tt is the first thing tt get into their mind, that is what they truly think.
and whn ppl think before they do, they are being responsible for their actions.
BUT whn ppl think before they say after their actions, they are shaking off the responsibility of suffering the consequences.